Our nation has chosen Boston as the city that will be bidding to host the 2024 Olympic games. They're not gonna get it, though.

The 2024 Olympics are summer Olympics. Boston is best known for being encased in a block of ice. Why would you want to be there in the summer time?

I don't see it happening.

The other U.S. cities that Boston beat out were Washington, L.A., and San Francisco. All of those are better cities than Boston. Why didn't they pick one of the better cities, rather than the worst one? It's a mystery. Ask yourself: "Out of the four cities on that list, where would I most like to go, in order?" Now imagine the Olympic Committee asking themselves the same thing. You see what I'm getting at.

Boston is well known for being full of rude people.

Now, Boston will have to compete against a global list of cities including Rome, Paris, Berlin, and Istanbul. Once again, Boston faces the problem of being the worst city on the list. Rome is a better city than Boston. No contest. So is Paris. Not even close. Berlin? Way better than Boston. Istanbul, likewise. Hard to see how Boston comes out ahead in this competition. Or even lodges a respectable finish. Did they really think this through?

If you go to Boston the first thing you want to do is leave. Try it and see.

The Olympic games bring the attention of the entire world to one city for a brief, shining moment. Do we want the attention of the world focused on Boston? If that happened, everyone would see Boston people and assume that they "represented America." As an American, do you want to be associated with that? Rude people, with shellfish juice dripping down their chins, who can't hold a witty conversation? Strategically it's a misstep. There's no denying that.

It's fine to live in Boston. Everyone has to live somewhere. We don't go putting every last hovel on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, though. If you get my drift.

Some of the most popular events in the Olympics are gymnastics, track and field, wrestling, and basketball. Some of the most popular events in Boston are drunken violence, violence against those perceived as "different," drunkenly running one's car into the plate glass window of a bad Italian restaurant, and ice hockey. Ice hockey is not even a sport in the summer Olympics. Futility, thy name is "A Boston bid for the summer Olympics."

Basketball is popular in Boston, I guess. Not as popular as drunkenly issuing terroristic threats against citizens of other New England states while wearing a pink baseball cap, but fairly popular. There's a point in Boston's favor.

There are many fine educational institutions in Boston. That could be helpful if Boston were bidding for the Math Olympics. Is Boston bidding for the Math Olympics? No. Boston is bidding for the real Olympics—an international showcase in which a nation wants to project its best possible image. Someone fouled up here. Big time.

We're all Americans. We're all pulling for Boston. The only thing that can—and will—lose this Olympic bid is Boston itself, and its attitude.

[ Photo: Flickr]